1 year without our Angel Anna.

Tonight marks one year without the precious light of our lives being with us. I am posting it exactly at 12:58 am, March 26th, the very moment she left us. Why? Because her life mattered and she was loved immensely.

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  annagraduation

Anna gave so much to her world.

She challenged how we think.

She was tenacious.

She was gentle.

She was a mentor.

She was a warrior.

She was an athlete.

She made us all laugh.

She was highly intelligent.

She was beautiful.

Most importantly, She taught us real love.

I have a million wonderful memories and I am grateful for them, but what I really want is to just hold her again. I miss her so much! It is an excruciating ache that will never go away. I know we live in a broken world, but this hit way too close to home...it hit the core of my heart and shattered it. As my friend, Dana says, "It's not a club you want to be a member of". But here we are...

Since she left, I have felt as if I am in some sort of cruel time warp. Part of me is trying to go through the motions of life, but feeling paralyzed; another part is still back in her illness; and part of me is already in Heaven with my child. I know it is only by God's compassion that I even get out of bed everyday and try (and fail) to function.

Why on earth would I go out on the road to all the National Parks talking about NET cancer? I want to honor Anna and finish what we were going to do; but mostly, every time I see a new person has been diagnosed with NET, my heart breaks all over again. Perhaps Anna isn't done being a making a difference in this world. There is definitely some divine force at work here, and I pray that God will take my brokenness and turn it into something good for others".

And now these three things remain;

Faith, Hope & Love.

But the greatest of these is Love.

I Corinthians 13:13