Tonight marks one year without the precious light of our lives being with us. I am posting it exactly at 12:58 am, March 26th, the very moment she left us. Why? Because her life mattered and she was loved immensely.
Anna gave so much to her world.
She challenged how we think.
She was tenacious.
She was gentle.
She was a mentor.
She was a warrior.
She was an athlete.
She made us all laugh.
She was highly intelligent.
She was beautiful.
Most importantly, She taught us real love.
I have a million wonderful memories and I am grateful for them, but what I really want is to just hold her again. I miss her so much! It is an excruciating ache that will never go away. I know we live in a broken world, but this hit way too close to home...it hit the core of my heart and shattered it. As my friend, Dana says, "It's not a club you want to be a member of". But here we are...
Since she left, I have felt as if I am in some sort of cruel time warp. Part of me is trying to go through the motions of life, but feeling paralyzed; another part is still back in her illness; and part of me is already in Heaven with my child. I know it is only by God's compassion that I even get out of bed everyday and try (and fail) to function.
Why on earth would I go out on the road to all the National Parks talking about NET cancer? I want to honor Anna and finish what we were going to do; but mostly, every time I see a new person has been diagnosed with NET, my heart breaks all over again. Perhaps Anna isn't done being a making a difference in this world. There is definitely some divine force at work here, and I pray that God will take my brokenness and turn it into something good for others".
And now these three things remain;
Faith, Hope & Love.
But the greatest of these is Love.
I Corinthians 13:13